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Values and change go hand in hand. As we mark the end of a year (what a year, right?!) and the beginning of our shared journey, it's fitting, and I'd say, super important to dive into a topic that both helps you understand me and lies at the very heart of healing from trauma – values. Values are guiding principles that shape our beliefs, behaviors, and choices, and they have a powerful impact on our lives. When we don't consciously live by a set of values that align with who we want to be, we run the risk of believing, behaving, and choosing in ways that are misaligned and can make us feel less like us. It can happen when values are chosen for us by outside forces like other people, circumstances, and even society. In the tangled yarn ball of trauma recovery, understanding and aligning with one's values can bring about deep healing and growth.
Values tell us what matters most in life. Identifying and connecting with values on a regular basis is not only an essential aspect of self-discovery and living an authentic life, but also a crucial step in trauma recovery. Trauma imposes values on us and has a way of reprioritizing our existing values. Take safety for example. For a moment, consider how important safety has been to you throughout your life. How have your beliefs, behaviors, and choices been shaped by the presence or absence safety?
Painful and overwhelming experiences have a profound impact on an individual's sense of self and the way they view world. It cracks the illusion of safety and often disrupts the narratives we create about our lives. Rebuilding in the aftermath of trauma requires a conscious effort to rediscover purpose and meaning. This is where values can come into play.
Values provide a stable framework that empowers individuals to heal. In times of uncertainty and adversity, values serve as a grounding force, offering a sense of direction and purpose. They become the building blocks upon we can discover a sense of identity and rebuild trust in ourselves and the world around us.
Value work can be sort of a long-game approach and probably shouldn't be the only kind of healing work you do but rather in support of other healing things you are doing. A new year is the perfect time to do some checking-in and some exploring around the idea of values.
Reflection Questions:
What values have played a significant role in your life, especially during challenging times? Reflect on instances when your core values have been your guiding light in navigating difficult circumstances. How did these values manifest, and what impact did they have on your ability to cope?
How have your values evolved in response to traumatic experiences? Trauma has the power to reshape our perspectives. Consider how your values may have shifted or evolved in response to the challenges you've faced. Have new values emerged, or have existing ones gained newfound significance?
Are there values you would like to prioritize in your healing journey? Think more about the values you aspire to embody on your path to healing. What values resonate with the person you want to become, and how might they contribute to a life you want to live?
Incorporating New Values:
Mindful Awareness: Develop more awareness around your current values and how they do or don't align with your desired path of healing. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and reflective journaling, can deepen your understanding of your values and their role in your life.
Small Daily Practices: The integration of values into daily routines can be a transformative practice. Identify small, actionable steps aligned with your values and incorporate them into your daily life. This could be as simple as setting aside time for self-reflection, selfcare, or moments of gratitude.
Support Networks: Surrounding yourself with individuals who share or respect your values is crucial in creating a nurturing environment for healing. Seek out communities, whether online or in-person, where your values are not only acknowledged but celebrated.
Creativity and Self-Expression: Engage in creative outlets or expressive activities that allow you to embody and reinforce your values. Whether it's through art, writing, or other forms of self-expression, these outlets can serve as powerful tools for solidifying your connection to your values.
In conclusion, values may seem like abstract concepts but once you get to know your values, they can shape the narrative of your life. As we reflect on the past year together, consider how understanding and embracing your values can be a transformative force in your journey toward healing and resilience.
The healing process after trauma is a unique and deeply personal journey. It requires a deliberate and conscious effort to reconnect with oneself and rebuild a life that aligns with one's authentic values. By cultivating a deep understanding of these values and actively incorporating them into daily life, individuals can create a solid foundation for healing and rediscovery.
So, go on, find a list of values (Brene Brown, PhD has a great set) and dig in because you are worth it.
Until next time... ✌️+ 🤍